Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Guess What? Monkey Butt!

This is a silly peice I did that will appear in Va Voom comics # 6 if we
ever get around to it.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The healing power of FISHBONE!

May 19 2007

     Last weekend in a small town in just north of Saint Paul Minnesota, a small miracle happened, a tiny group of unsuspecting rednecks got dosed with the awesome power of Fishbone. Picture this a small redneck and locals bar called the Rock Nite-club, a large percentage of old people and rednecks, and Norwood Fisher, six feet tall, single unicorn dread lock cascading from his frontal lobe playing bass like a maniac. I'm sure at first these people were expecting another Saturday night of boring generic bar rock, the first band was bullocks, a rock quintet with a pudgy lead singer who was desperately trying to sound like Chris Cornell, then came a decent Reggae three piece out of New Orleans, still no sign of the madness to come. Third on the bill was a frat boy pseudo Ska band called The Expendables', whose pretty boy front-man/lead guitar player went through the list of rock n' roll clich├ęs, and had the tube topped redneck girls swooning, but the music was amateurish and decidedly frat boy oriented. In fact before the show started I was engaged in conversation by what must have been The Expendables biggest fan, “So you're into reggae? Well you'll love the Expendables," he told me, I informed him we were there to see Fishbone, he said he'd never heard of them, I said nothing. This young frat boy gushed over the pretty boy lead singer like a woman, calling him over to their table and asking him all kinds of questions about the bands lyrics, it was a very gay moment. Needless to say when the Expendables' came out to play their music was not Reggae, it barely could be classified as Ska, but the young frat boy and his band of merry douche-bags knew all the words, sung along and shouted out song requests, it was indeed very gay.

     Then there was silence while they set up for Fishbone, then out came Angelo Moore as Dr. Mad Vibe in his suit and launched into a long spoken word about " Bitches", the rednecks and old people shifted in their seats uncomfortably, unsure perhaps. What was going on? What was this Mad Vibe person talking about? What had they gotten themselves into?

     Then music started, horns blaring, guitar screaming and Angelo jumping around and the place gasped. I was too busy skanking to the beat to notice how the rednecks reacted but I imagine they must have gone running for the doors in droves rushing home to lock themselves inside to escape the power of Fishbone. At one point I looked to the back of the bar and it was empty. Only a few brave rednecks were still in attendance and they had smiles on their faces, they had been saved, saved by the power of Fishbone. A handful of about thirty Fishbone fans, me and my wife included, were in attendance due to poor advertising and 21+ venue I suppose, and it felt like Fishbone was playing a Private show just for us.

      To those of you who have never seen Fishbone live, it's not so much a concert, it's a revival, it's a religious experience. I always feel reborn after a Fishbone show. The guys played for two solid hours, and it was amazing. I couldn't skank the whole two hours, I'm old and horribly out of shape, so I have to pick my moments, and I think I picked them well.

     " Alcoholic" and the encore " Party at Ground Zero" were high points, " Lyin' ass bitch" " Everyday sunshine" " Party with Sadam" " Bonin' in the bone yard" " The Suffering" " Choley" " Ma and Pa" were all on the set list, " Unyielding conditioning" " Skanking to the Beat" and " Ugly" were absent. It was a shame that the rock Nite-club doesn't have better advertising, I believe if they'd had a better website or more ads in the Citipages they would've gotten more Fishbone and Ska fans out to the show, most people hadn't known about the show until that week, the only way I knew about it was because of their MySpace page.

     Fishbone is one of the greatest live bands I've ever seen, and their new album is really good, as I tell everyone when I talk about Fishbone, They're the greatest band that no one has heard of, and that is truly a shame. This band deserves to be right up there with best bands of all time. I'm afraid that after this show they'll never come to Minneapolis or Saint Paul again, it's probably not worth it for them. It's funny because the Rock Nite-club doesn't have a back stage area, Norwood, Angelo and the rest of the band were all just hanging out at the bar, having drinks eating food, and my wife and I were sitting right across from Norwood and the band. My wife was wearing my old Fishbone shirt and Norwood thanked us for showing up, I thanked them for coming to Minnesota. Angelo was sitting at the end of the bar, and as my wife and I walked by Angelo totally checked my wife out looked her up and down. Any other man would've gotten a dirty stare and a word of warning, but shit it's Angelo Moore of Fishbone and he checked out my wife. It actually pretty cool and my wife and I laughed about it a lot.

     On a closing note the frat boys who were in love with the Expendables' they sat in their chairs while Fishbone played. They looked broken hearted and offended, as though because Fishbone got people on their feet and dancing and the Expendables got almost no reaction from anyone except them and the redneck girls who wanted to sleep with the pretty boy lead singer/guitar player. I noticed that the frat boys left halfway through the set once again proving the fucked up state of popular music. People listen to shitty music and great bands go unappreciated. Fuck frat boys. Long Live Fishbone.

Until next time catch you on the flip-side.

Superstition and Baseball.

    Okay, so my daughter went to an Atlanta Braves game on June 26th. It was bobble head day and she got a free give-a-way Brian Mcann bobble head. Now I am a Phillies fan and can't have a Braves bobble head in my house because I watch baseball and am superstitious about such things, so I told my daughter that it would be bad luck to keep the bobble head and I would buy her a Ryan Howard or Phillie Phanatic Bobble head to replace the one that we, being Phillies fans, must give away... My daughter understood this logic so we set off to find a good home for the bobble head, which I procrastinated at for a few weeks. So I had been driving around with this Curs-ed thing in my car for weeks and the Philles went from six games ahead up to a half game back. So during the Braves, Phillies game on Sunday July 26th, with the Phils six runs down after loosing the fist game of the series I found someone to give the bobble head to. We were eating pizza at our favorite pizza joint watching the Phils let this game spiral out of control, and in a state of desperation I asked the guy at the pizza shop if he wanted the Curs-ed bobble head, he said yes so I ran to the car and grabbed it. He put it by the counter so everyone could see it... and ya know what? By the time we got home the Phills pulled ahead in the game, won the game, and haven't lost since... And we're back in first place by half a game and the Braves haven't won a game since and Brian Mcann... Concussed and on the DL(he got injured in the final game of the Phills Braves series)... Superstition? You tell me...

As a post script to this the Phillies won the World Series in 2008.

Cental Park B&W

Cental Park B&W by Scott Tauser
Cental Park B&W, a photo by Scott Tauser on Flickr.


B&W Cathedral by Scott Tauser
B&W Cathedral, a photo by Scott Tauser on Flickr.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Bukit Hed in " All's lost in the Supermarket."

Scott Tauser. 2008. Originally published in Muscles and Fights 3, Available at